Monday, August 6, 2007

Sexy UPS Men

I once knew a woman who was in love with her UPS man. From what seemed like dawn till dusk, she and her little tow-headed son would sit on her porch waiting for the truck to make its way around the bend. I couldn't for the life of me understand the impulse that compelled her--and approximately 700,000 other American women--to order deliverables in hopes of simply seeing that man in brown.

Today, though, as I sit waiting for packages and desparately cranking my neck towards the window every thirty seconds or so, I think it might have more to do with guarantees than with love. How nice to know that he has to show up, how nice to know that if he doesn't you can simply call the number on the website, how nice to know that when he does finally arrive he won't be empty-handed. Lemme tell you people, one of these:


is worth a whole boatload of these:

6 comments:

daddy rabbit said...

Note to self:

Wait a while before telling Lynn that Nicole has a blog and she ought to read it.

Nicole Hefner said...

Note to reader:

Any likeness to the living or dead is purely coincedental.

little miss mel said...

I totally see your point, but my brother is a UPS driver, so my viewpoint is a little altered. ;)

If I were my sister-in-law, I could wait at the door everyday for the guy that "had to" come home. ha!

Livs said...

are you sure you're not confusing fact and fiction??? didn't that woman on "legally blonde" have a thing for that UPS guy? that's what started the whole "bend-and-snap" lesson... hmmmmm. if not, then I definitely feel sorry for the towhead who had to indulge his porchbound mother....

Nicole Hefner said...

O Livs, I love a bend and snap just as much as the next girl, but let me tell you, one thing I never do is confuse fact with fiction. Haven't you read my stories? Jeesh.

lane said...

Believe it. Delivery love happens. My friend Joc started dating a Fed Ex man. OUR Fed Ex man, and hers. When they broke up, he stopped greeting us at the door with packages, and just left them on the porch and ran off like a little heart-broken delivery boy.

J said she was somewhat charming that she got to see him every afternoon, dropping off her JCrew purchases. He was, if nothing else, constant.