At the Office

These days, I chomp on Laffy Taffy and chug water and stare down at my ankles, waiting for them to swell like un-canned hams; these days, I pop Papaya Enzyme to quell heartburn and say little prayers to avoid heartache and sing loudly in the shower, even when I know it'll be a long day, even when I've forgotten to buy new Body Wash or change the razor blade, sing that old church song about melting and molding; these days, I imagine what labor will feel like and if I'll want to get a pedicure in the early stages and if I'll remember how to breathe. I take naps, too--short ones in my cubicle--and then, not quite groggy, I walk back into the office next to mine and (discreetly) grab another Laffy Taffy from the jar, and wow, I think, has it always tasted so darned delicious?