I'm not quite sure how to say this, but here it is: I fear that becoming a mother is making me anti-feminist. I used to feel sorry for men and the burden they carried; I used to admire that burden and want it and think about how I could do anything a man could do; I used to be surrounded by all these equal signs but then they turned into question marks.
Now, I marvel at generations and generations of women. I guess this doesn't make me anti-feminist but it makes me something other than what I've been for years. Maybe (in 2037) when I'm getting a little more sleep I'll be able to articulate it...
It's times like this I think of a conversation I had with my mom a few years ago. She's an ER doctor with 3 young kids, and I asked her why she loved work so much, and she laughed and laughed and said it was the only time she got to relax. Now I know she wasn't joking.
5 comments:
My confession: Somedays the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is the thought of my delicious breakfast.
I've always thought of feminism as the assertion that a woman can make her own choice about whether to, say, work outside of the home or work inside of the home (child optional). Feminism isn't about being like a traditional man, but being like the woman you want to be. So I think choosing of your own agency to be a mother is a feminist choice, and admiring and appreciating generations of women seems like a particularly feminist thing to do.
Happy Mother's Day a few days early, Nicole.
;-)
Love,
Miriam
O Miriam dear, I _know_ the definition of feminism. I sat in my share of Women's Studies classes. What I've learned is that it's like nothing I thought it would be and that (most) men don't have (the luxury or burden) to make choices. But thank you for reaffirming me, and thank you, dearly, for the Mother's Day wishes.
And you, Anonymous, hitting the Fiber One again?
Hallelujah the lights have come on. Another dresser drawer of innocent bras is safe from their trajic fate of being burned on the steps of Ms. magazine...........
I love what your mother said about working in the ER. My husband will drag himself into work no matter how sick he is because he knows he'll get a helluva lot more rest at the office than at home with the rugrats.
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