Dad: So, I think I'm gonna just keep on losing.
Me: Dad, don't get crazy or anything.
Dad: Just another ten pounds or so.
Me: I mean, I don't want you to become anorexic.
Dad: No way, Sis. You should see my gut.
Me: It's not about the gut, dad. It's about control. It's the mind. Besides you probably don't even have a gut.
Dad: Wanna hear me fry up some turkey bacon right now? Will that make you feel better?
Over the phone line, I hear only the faintest of sounds, probably just Fiber One nuggets knocking against the porcelain bowl.